


Twinstinct

by RenConner



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Amnesia Stan, Angst with a Happy Ending, ArtsyMeeShee, Based on a Tumblr Post, Brotherhood, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Guilty Ford Pines, Headcanon, Hurt/Comfort, Ignore the bad summary, Instinct, Link to cover is in the notes, Made by me and ArtsyMeeShee, Older Pines Twins, One Shot, Post-Episode: s02e20 Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back the Falls, Post-Weirdmageddon, This is like a prequel to the comic, Twins, Twinstinct, Young Stan Twins, based on a comic, i suck at those, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-30 01:16:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15085829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenConner/pseuds/RenConner
Summary: Ford had believed in it all this time. But over the years, he had forgotten about it. It's only now that Stan is piecing back together his forgotten life that they both remembered it. And it's only now that Ford is realising just how much of an awful brother he was to Stan.Based on the Tumblr comic Instinct (this is like a prequel. link to cover is in the notes)





	Twinstinct

“Stanford!” Stan called out, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Staaaaaaanfoooooord!” No response. “Hmph.” Stan huffed, folding his chubby little arms. “Where did you go?” Stan surveyed the empty Glass Shard Bay, looking for any sign of his brother. Oh, wait! That brown speck by the wall could-no, wait. It was just a muddy towel. Gross. It may be summer, but this old town was as deserted and washed-up as before. Then again, getting glass between your toes doesn’t exactly sound fun to a tourist. Eh. Stan couldn’t complain. Gave him and Ford more alone time to work on the Stan O’War.

“Maybe I should check the Stan O’War …” Stan thought out loud. “Nah, I’ve already walked past it. Hmmm…” Stan tapped his chin in thought. Less than an hour ago, Stan and Ford both ran off in different directions when Crampelter spotted them and gave chase. And now, neither Crampelter nor Ford had been seen since. He’d checked the Stan O’War. He’d checked the swing set. And no Ford. Next time, they’re setting up a meeting point. What was that word Ford used? Bendyrude? Rendytube? Ronaldboob? It definitely began with an R.

“If I were a nerdy nine year old, where would I hide?” Stan said, looking around his surroundings and trying to picture his twin there. The taffy shop? No, that stuff was too chewy. The malt bar? Too noisy. The library?

“The library.” Stan nodded a confident grin on his face. That was the only place left. Ford was in there. He could feel it. In fact, he could almost sense it. Stan made a dash for the library, bursting through the doors and into the shelves, belting out a hearty “OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE!”

“Shhh!” A wrinkled old woman hissed at Stan the second he finished yelling. Stan clamped his hands over his mouth. Right. Library. No yelling in the library. 

“Heheheh.” Stan laughed nervously, giving the old librarian an apologetic grin, which she returned with a glower. Stan trotted around another shelf to get out of the stare of that old lady. And Ford likes it here?

“Okay…where’s the nerdy bit?” Stan browsed the tags on the library map, looking for one Ford would be hiding in. History…Geography…Classical Literature…Anthropology…Urgh, just reading the map made Stan bored!

“There it is!” Stan’s fingered pointed at the Supernatural section. It was just down his right and then a left to the get there. So, Stan set off to find his twin. He had to make a right here and then a…wait. Stan stopped himself when he saw the start of the Supernatural section. He couldn’t explain it, but something inside him was telling him that Ford won’t be there. But it was the most likely place he would be. Where else would he be? “He’s this way.” Stan turned on his heel and went right, then he took a left, then another left right into a shelf full of books covered in hearts and people holding hands or hugging. One book had a picture of a couple so deeply in love that it was clear they were about to kiss. Stan looked around for a sign of where he was. Somehow he had led himself to the…Romance section.

“Eurgh, the kissing bit?!” Stan stuck his tongue out in disgust and recoiled away, before entering the romance section, but keeping both hands up so he couldn’t see the mushy books in his peripheral vision. Where was Ford? And why was his gut telling him he was here? He couldn’t be here. He hated this stuff as much as Stan did. But then, Stan saw a dark brown jacket and green pants. The owner was huddled over a book, and he was about to turn the page…with a six fingered hand!

“Aha!” Stan yelled triumphantly.

“AAAAH!” Ford shrieked jumping back from the yell, holding the book in front of him like it was a shield.

“Shhh…” Stan shushed Ford, pushing the book down so Ford could see him. “We’re in a library.” He whispered, completely ignoring Ford glaring at him with askew glasses.

“What are you doing here?” Ford asked bluntly, still irked at being frightened like that.

“What am I doing here?” Stan repeated incredulously. “What are you…” Stan pointed at Ford. “Doing here?!” Stan indicated the entire romance section. “This is the mushy part!”

“You think I WANT to be here?” Ford said, taking a second to spot a cover of a woman swooning in a muscular pirate’s arms and turning the cover around so he couldn’t look at it anymore. Ford adjusted his glasses as he spoke again. “This is the one place Crampelter least expects me to be. Or anyone, for that matter.”

“Huh.” Stan huffed, impressed. “Didn’t think of it like that.” Stan said, looking around at his surroundings. “Good thinking, Poindexter.” Stan praised with a grin, and Ford gave a small smile back, the previous scare all but forgotten.

“Sorry you were looking for so long.” Ford apologised “I know the library is huge and it’s easy to get lost if you don’t know your way.”

“Actually, this was the first place I looked.” Stan said.

“What?” Ford raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, like, I was going to go towards the supernatural part, but then…” Stan trailed off, trying to think of a way to describe what he felt.

“But then what?” Ford encouraged, leaning in closely. Stan, giving up on finding the word, shrugged with an ‘I dunno’ noise.

“I just knew.” Stan said.

“I see…” Ford said thoughtfully. He quickly turned back to the big book he was reading, and using as a shield, flipping through the pages. “I think I read about it in here somewhere…”

“Whazzat?” Stan asked, sitting down on the floor next to Ford and taking a peak at the cover. “Psychic Powers: An Introduction. Hot Belgian Waffles, this book is bigger than Dad’s cash register!”

“Here it is!” Ford finally found the right page. Stan looked. It was a rather yellowed chapter titled The Superstitions Surrounding Twins. 

“Twins? Twins are psychic?”

“Believed to be.” Ford corrected, already engrossed in the chapter. “According to this chapter…” Ford flicked through the pages every few seconds as he talked. “There are many superstitions and beliefs about twins. It varies from something like one twin being evil, to both of them sharing one another’s pain.”

“Cool…” Stan said. “Hey, I bet I’m the evil one. There! Called it!” Ford laughed a little at that.

“Anyway…” Ford got on track, stopping on a page that had a scary looking Aztec illustration of some being that looked like a dog, the description calling it Xolotl. “One common belief is that twins can share a special connection nobody else has. They can read each other’s minds, sense when one is in trouble, or…” Ford and Stan looked at one another. “Find each other when they’re separated.”

“So it’s…like an instinct for twins?” Stan said, trying to understand what Ford was describing.

“Yes, a twin instinct.” Ford agreed enthusiastically. Then, both twins gasped happily.

“Twinstinct!” They exclaimed at the same time. “Jinx!” The Stan’s both erupted into laughter after that outburst.

“Quiet over there!” The librarian barked, startling the boys into keeping quiet. But that didn’t stop them from muffling giggles behind their hands.

“You think this thing is real?” Stan asked, calming down first. “This…twinstinct?”

“After today? Definitely.” Ford said firmly. Pause.

“Naaaah!” Stan dismissed. “That gut feeling I got must have been when I ate that old toffee peanut I found in our room.”

“Eehehew, gross!” Ford laughed, shoving Stan playfully. “But, this…” Ford pointed at the chapter. “Is real.”

“No way, ‘s not real.”

“Oh, really?” Ford smirked at Stan slowly closing the book until it shut with a thump! “This week’s allowance says I’m right.”

“You’re on.”

“But who can tell us once and for all if twins are psychic?” Ford wondered.

“Hmmm…” The Pines twins both took up identical thoughtful expressions before they both reached the same conclusion.

“Mom?” Ford said.

“Mom.” Stan agreed.

One mad dash back home later

“Oh, yes, trust me, honey. It’s written in the cards. I’m looking at them right now.” Cassandra Pines said done the phone, resting it between her shoulder and ear while painting her nails with her free hands (but if anyone asked, she was looking at Tarot cards). “I predict that good fortune is going to come your way. Which reminds me, about your bill…”

“Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!” Cassandra was interrupted by two excited looking boys dashing towards her seat in the window with big grins and talking at a hundred miles an hour.

“Actually, I need to talk with the spirits about last question. Hold please.” Cassandra clicked the hold button on the dial pad and put the receiver down. She turned to her boys and smiled at them. “What’s the matter, pumpkins?”

“Crampelter found us so we ran away

“And I went to the library

“But I didn’t know he was there

“And then he knew I was there

“And then I found him

“And then he found me

“And then there was this book about psychic powers

“Okay, okay, slow down!” Cassandra laughed, beckoning the twins to quiet down so that they didn’t talk over one another. “Now, tell me what’s got you so excited. I think you said something about Stanley finding you?” Cassandra asked Ford, who nodded.

“Are twins psychic?” They both asked in unison.

“Why, of course they are!” Cassandra answered instantly. She placed her hands on each of the Stan’s shoulders, looking them right in their curious brown eyes. “You two don’t know how special you are. You have a connection that nobody else can understand. If one of you is hurt, you’ll feel it. If one of you sad, you’ll know it. And for you two, if one of you is lost…” Cassandra leaned down so that she could whisper to them the next words. “You will find one another no matter what.” After those words, Cassandra savoured how both of their eyes lit up after hearing those words. Stan was especially amazed to hear that, beaming from ear to ear.

“Woo hoo!” Stan hollered, jumping up and down while Ford wore an ‘I knew it’ smile “You hear that, Sixer? I’m psychic!”

“Now, is that all you needed? I’m in the middle of a client. Go play in your room until dinner.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Thanks, Mom.” The Stan’s made a dash for their room.

“Ah, ah, ah!” Cassandra stopped them. “Aren’t you forgetting something?” Cassandra opened out her arms. Without a moment’s hesitation, both Stan and Ford rushed into her arms and gave her a hug, which Cassandra returned with a great big squeeze. One thing she loved about having twins was that she had even more love to give out, and they were more than happy to receive it. After all, where else where they were going to get it? Filbrick? The thought was laughable.

“Alright, off you go.” Cassandra pulled away and shooed the twins away, watching the boys laugh while running out her room. Cassandra watched them go with a smile before turning back to her client, picking up the receiver and taking them off hold.

“Okay, I’m back from the spirit world. Now, have you got a date coming up? Because if it goes badly, I think I might be able to place a curse on them for you at a special discount.”

Meanwhile, back in the shared bedroom of Stan and Ford, the air was full of excitement and electricity, radiating mainly from the boy in the red striped shirt. The other half, however, was sat on the bottom bunk with folded arms and a smug, know-it-all smile on his face.

“How cool is this? Twins are psychic. Heck, WE’RE psychic.” Stan rambled breathlessly, pacing around the room. He faced Ford. “This is amazing!” He yelled, grinning

“Told you.” Ford said. Silence. Ford outstretched his hand. “Eh. Eh.” Ford used his extra digits to make a grabbing motion. He was right, and it was time for Stan to hold up his end of the bet.

“Fine.” Stan sighed, forking over his allowance to Ford, who pocketed it promptly. “You’ve never gonna let this one go, are ya?”

“Nope.” Ford said proudly.

“But, hey! Now we can find each other whenever we’re separated again.” Stan said, trying to put a positive spin on losing his money.

“Maybe.” Ford shrugged. “I haven’t had mine yet.”

“Eh, don’t worry, Sixer. If I got it, you’re gonna get it.”

“Possibly, yes. But, for now, I think for the next time we’re separated again, we should set up a rendezvous point.”

“Rendezvous!” Stan shouted, making Ford jump. “That’s the word!”

…

“It’s got to be here somewhere…” Ford grumbled, rifling through the vast collection of photo albums in the TV room. Meanwhile, Stan was sat in his chair, twiddling his thumbs and looking around awkwardly as Ford searched. He’d been at this for five minutes, trying to find the one album among dozens, when Stan would have been happy looking at pictures from any album, but noooooo! Ford insisted it had to be the boardwalk album. And knowing how obsessive Ford could be, Stan doubted he’d be giving up unless it was found.

“Uh, Sta…Sixer?” Stan said, using the nickname that he remembered the other day. Sixer…Sixer…No matter how many times Stan said the word, and no matter how much he remembered using it, that nickname still felt strange. Like his tongue wasn’t used to saying it. But Ford looked so happy when he remembered that nickname. And he hadn’t seen Ford look that happy in…well, ever. So weird feeling aside, he’ll keep using that name if it makes his brother happy. “Do you need a-”

“No, I got it!” Ford interrupted briskly, holding a hand up to silence Stan without turning around. He glanced at the cover of an album before putting it away with a grumble that sounded to Stan like ‘no not that one’. “Just stay where you are. I’ll have that album in no time!” Oh, jeez. Stan knew that tone. It was the same giddy enthusiasm Ford used whenever he’d found something especially fascinating in one of his experiments. He really was going to be searching all night unless Stan put a stop to it.

“Maybe we could skip that album for now?” Stan suggested. “There’s a whole bunch of others right here.”

“I know, Stanley.” Ford stopped searching for a moment and just sat there on the frayed carpet silently. Stan didn’t like that look on his face. It was that sad look he saw on the day he woke up in the woods with two kids and him. You know what; Stan liked annoying enthusiasm better right now. “But, we had so much fun on the boardwalk together. All our best memories are there. And I wanted to share them with you.”

“Eh. It’ll turn up.” Stan shrugged, trying to lighten up the mood after Ford dampened it again. That seemed to be a common occurrence for the old twins whenever they were left alone after Soos and Wendy went home and the kids were in bed. Sure, there were happy memories and moments where they could laugh and joke around. But mostly…it was regret after regret, followed by apology after apology. Mostly from Ford, though Stan had apologised a few times too. If that’s the case, that would explain why Ford looked so awful. He’d run himself ragged during the day trying to find little reminders of their past, from photo albums to old home movies, and he’d bring them to Stan with an almost annoying enthusiasm at night. And he was always the first one to fall asleep on Stan’s shoulder, not the other way around. Clearly, this old nerd was too stubborn to admit he was exhausted. “C’mon, sit up here and have a Pitt. The album can wait.” Stan patted Ford’s chair with one hand, and waved an unopened can of Pitt soda with the other. Ford glanced from the boxes to the can before finally conceding with a sigh. Ford got up with a groan and an uncomfortable clicking sound in his joints before plonking himself in the chair next to his brother. He wordlessly took the can and opened it, taking a sip with a frustrated look on his face. “And anyway, you need to take it easy. You look exhausted.”

“Wha…No, no, I’m not tired.” Ford denied with a laugh. “I’m fine. See?” Ford pointed at his face and smiled, looking very unconvincingly fine.

“And that’s why I’m the liar and you’re not.” Stan said, and Ford wisely said nothing, although he did look sheepish at appearing so transparent. “Look, you don’t have to stop; just…try to slow down a little, okay? You’re barely awake as it is.

“I can’t Stanley.” Ford said. “Your recovery is my priority right now.”

“You’re important, too, Ford!” Stan said a little more forcefully than he intended, judging from that wince Ford gave off. “You’re important, too.” Stan said again, this time making sure it was gentle. “You have to take care of yourself, ya nerd. Here.” Stan offered a bowl full of toffee peanuts and bacon bits to Ford; a small peace offering for snapping at him. “Get some o’ this in ya.”

“Thank you.” Ford accepted the offering, taking two peanuts.

“And anyway, I’m more curious about these old high school yearbooks.” With a cackle, Stan shoved the bowl into an unwilling Ford’s arms (who was secretly trying to pick out the toffee in his teeth) and searched through the box labelled YEARBOOKS. “I think it’s about time we hear about the Casanova Twins of New Jersey.”

“More like Wannabe Casanova Twin.” Ford said with a smile, setting aside the bowl to tease his brother. “You had more slaps than girlfriends.”

“At least I had a girlfriend, unlike you.” Stan retorted with a grin.

“Hey!” Ford cried out, playfully punching Stan’s arm before they both shared a laugh.

“I still had a chick or two over the years. I even got married once, you know.” Stan said, turning back to the year books.

“Wait, what?” Ford said. Then Stan realised what he just said.

“Er…” Stan blanched, looking extremely embarrassed. “We’ll talk about that later. Let’s just say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”

“Ah, okay” Ford nodded, instantly understanding. And also instantly taking notes mentally on something he can tease Stan about someday.

“Aha! Here it is!” Stan said triumphantly, brandished a book clearly saying Glass Shard Beach High School. Stan quickly opened it and flicked through the pages, eager to get the subject of his Vegas wife forgotten. “There’s gotta be somethin’ good from our senior year! Let’s see…Where are we, where are we, where are we…”

“Uhhh, I think we should do that one later.” Ford quickly took the book off of Stan’s lap and snapped it shut.

“Aw, come on!” Stan complained. “Don’t be a killjoy! If it’s ‘cos of the kids, they’re fast asleep; they’re not gonna hear a thing!”

“That’s not-Well, actually, yes, that’s one of the reasons- But that’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?” Stan asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow,

“I just think…” Ford said slowly, trying to think of a reason while hugging the senior yearbook close to his chest. Stan was still scrutinising him, so Ford thought fast and answered “That these should be looked at chronologically. If you remember your childhood and your adolescence out of order, it could cause all kinds of problems to your mind. If we break from the order, then your memories could come rushing in with no sense of organisation. It would harm your already bruised mind, and I won’t have it.”

“Huh.” Stan huffed thoughtfully. “Didn’t think of it like that.” Stan shrugged. “Okay. You’re the genius. Let’s find another one.” Stan went back to the yearbook box and started searching, quickly accepting the explanation.

“Yes, thank you.” Ford sighed with a smile, relieved. But, that smile soon turned into a frown as he opened up the yearbook while Stan wasn’t looking. “Besides, this one is…boring.” Ford stared sadly at the pages of senior graduates. There he was; a high school graduate, honours and a future. And right next to him, with no honours and nothing to his name…a grey square saying NO PHOTO and underneath that the name Stanley Pines. Ford knew that he would have to tackle what happened all those years ago with Stan; of course he did! But that didn’t stop Ford from feeling just that little bit apprehensive about it. What if Stan hated him? Stupid question, Ford knew Stan hated him for what happened. But right now, Stan liked him, cared for him, trusted him. Ford had forgotten what that felt like. And now that he had it again, he was terrified of losing it. Once Stan remembers the night he got kicked out, and how he did nothing to stop it, Stan would probably want nothing to do with him. And he was okay with that, so long as Stan had his memories back. For now, he just wanted to feel like a brother again, however short that time may be.

“Hey, what’s this?”

“Huh?” Ford snapped out of his glum mood and turned back to his twin, tucking the senior yearbook between two elementary school albums that had already been perused. “What is it?”

“What’s in here?” Stan held up a brown leather album with the word BEACH written on it with black marker and masking tape.

“That’s the album I was looking for!” Ford happily took the album and searched through the pages just to check. Beaches, snack stalls, the coconut shy, yes, they were all here! “Where did you find it?!”

“Same box I found the senior yearbook.” Stan answered.

“Why was it in there?” Ford muttered more to himself than to Stan. He flicked through the pages back near the beginning while Stan peered over at the pages, taking the occasional sip of his Pitt.

“So er…this is the boardwalk?” Stan said.

“Yes. We’d come down almost every week during the summer.” Ford explained, moving the album so that it was more in the middle of the twins. “If we weren’t working on the Stan O’War, then we were here.”

“I didn’t think you liked the boardwalk so much.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t much care for the crowds. I lost my change so many times to those pickpockets. But I enjoyed the food.”

“Heheh, what about that game there?” Stan pointed out a photo of a ten year old Ford concentrating on a ring toss game, aiming a hoop at one of the prizes.

“I was trying to figure out how to throw the hoop to get the best prize. Turns out it was rigged for the hoops to never fit to win them.”

“Pfft, yeah, it doesn’t take a genius to know that.” Stan scoffed. “It’s the oldest scam in the world.”

“I didn’t know that at the time!” For protested, though it turned into more of a whine.

“Oh, yeah? Well, remember when you used geometry to win that freaky fish mask?” Stan asked with a grin.

“Oh, yes! This one!” Ford looked at the photo, where Stan was wearing the green fish mask while making clawing gestures with his hands.

“Yeaheheh, I got a lot of use from that.” Stan chuckled. “Gave Dipper a fright with he and Mabel first came for the summer.”

“You still have it?” Ford asked, surprised at this small revelation.

“Yep.” Stan held his chin in thought “At least, I think so. Haven’t seen it since. Oh, well. What else is in here?” Stan tried to turn the page of the album.

“Oh, right!” Ford snapped himself out of his thoughts and flicked a couple pages ahead. Well, at least Stan was remembering little stories relating to the boardwalk. It would be amazing if he got to remember something completely off topic by himself, but with the extent of the mind erasure, Ford knew that would be difficult, if not impossible. Ah well, one can dream.

“Wait…” Stan stopped Ford from turning through the pages. “Why are we here?” Stan asked, pointing out the two of them trying to hold back snickers beside a sparkly looking tent and a sign reading Madame Mystique’s Fortunes. “Wasn’t Mom one of those?”

“Yes, she was.”

“So then why are we getting our fortunes told?”

“For irony.” Ford answered. Stan stared not understanding where Ford was coming from. “Okay, how about this?” Ford balanced the album on his lap, focusing his attention on explain the story to Stan, who listened intently. “There would be a new fortune teller every other year. And each time, we’d go in and let her tell our fortunes.”

“Okay…” Stan nodded, still listening and taking a drink from his Pitt.

“So we’d listen, and then, afterwards, heheh…” Ford couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at their childishness. “We’d laugh about how fake she was because Mom used to pull the same lines to her clients over the phone!”

“We did?” Stan said, already grinning from the prospect of them pulling pranks together rather than Stan being the prankster and Ford the unwilling accomplice.

“Yes, we did. Mom may have been a pathological liar, but she was a good pathological liar. None of these came close!”

“You bet they didn’t!” Stan agreed whole heartedly. “Mom was always telling us something new about psychic-” Suddenly, Stan went silent, staring ahead off him at the space on the wall where the screen for the projector was currently hanging.

“Stanley?” Ford said, trying to get his brother’s attention. It was no use. Stan had a glazed look in his eyes. The kind he’d usually get whenever a particularly large memory was taking hold of him. Ford hated it when Stan went quiet; it gave him time for his paranoid and overactive mind to draw up conclusions of what Stan remembered and how he’d react. Whether it was with joy or…or with anger. Ford always prayed it wasn’t the latter, no matter how deserved it may be.

“I think…” Stan finally broke the silence, though he still had that confused look on his face. “I think Mom once settled a bet we had…something about psychic powers?” Stan unconsciously drummed his fingers on the almost empty Pitt in his hand. “Um…I couldn’t find you after we ran from Crampelter…I went to the library…then I suddenly knew where you were…” Ford was holding his breath at this point, both from apprehension and the tiniest bit of excitement. Could Stan be remembering…“You said you read about it in this really big book and we called it…um…we called it…” Ford could feel a huge grin spread across his face. It is! Stan was remembering something that only twins like them could have together! Stan turned to face Ford, completely ignoring the ecstatic grin on his face. “Ford, what was that word again? Twin…Twintuition!”

“Twinstinct! It was twinstinct!” Ford shouted joyfully, jumping up onto his feet and letting the forgotten photo album fall onto the ground. Stan jumped at Ford’s excitement. Where does this man’s energy come from?

“Eh? I’m right?”

“Yes! Yes, you are!” Ford said happily. “Do you know what this means?!”

“That we need to get you off the sugary drinks?” Stan suggested, slowly taking Ford’s own can of Pitt away from his chair.

“You were able to remember something unrelated all by yourself!” Ford answered his own question. In a heartbeat, Ford had wrapped his arms around Stan in a hug while laughing happily. “Oh, Stanley, I’m so proud of you!” While Ford hugged him, Stan got this giddy look on his face, before he broke out into a smile and hugged Ford back. Ford was proud of him. Proud! Of him!

“Heh. Thanks, Poindexter.” Stan said. “So, er…Did I have this twinstinct a lot?”

“Yes! You did!” Ford answered, still hugging Stan and even snuggling a little further into the hug.

“Neat!” Stan grinned. “What about you? Did you have it, too? Oh, what am I saying? Of course you did! We’re twins! Ya can’t have a twinstinct without a twin!” Stan laughed loudly at his own joke, and after a few seconds, he noticed that his twin wasn’t laughing with him. Instead, he had gone unsettlingly quiet. Stan couldn’t see this, but Ford had a new, guilty expression on his face. Stan had automatically assumed that he had experienced twinstinct, when Ford knew the truth was that he never had one. Not once. Stan had it several times, but Ford? Nothing. Not even an inkling. And Stan had no idea. What was he supposed to do now? Keep lying? And if he did, what would happen once Stan found out? It would be devastating! And if Stan didn’t want anything to do with him before then he certainly wouldn’t now.

“Stanford?” Stan’s quiet voice pierced through Ford’s mind. “Did you have twinstinct, too?” Stan asked again. Now or never…

“Yes.” Ford answered. “Yeah, I had it, too.”

“Ha! I knew it!” This acceptance made Ford look, and feel, even guiltier.

“Um, your soda is empty!” Ford pulled away from the hug, quickly grabbing Stan’s empty can. “Here, I’ll get you another.” Without even waiting for a response Ford walked briskly out of the room and into the kitchen. He threw the can into the trash without looking and opened the fridge, pulling out another couple cans of Pitt and closing the door. But then, he didn’t go straight back to Stan. Instead, he just stared at his reflection on the window. That sad, guilty reflection. He lied. He lied to his amnesiac brother. And in that moment, those words that have haunted him for the last few days sprung back to his mind, and Ford uttered them aloud to himself.

“Some brother you turned out to be…”

…

Ford had lost track of time. And this time, it wasn’t from one of his experiments or getting too caught up in writing in his journal. It wasn’t even from setting the TV room up for Stan and Ford’s next memory recovery session. He’d already done that. No. This time, Ford had sat down for a moment, and his mind wandered to what happened last night. He’d been putting it off all day, after all.

He had ignored it when Dipper and Soos played the part of Mr Mystery and gave Stan a tour of the Mystery Shack exhibits. He had ignored it when Mabel introduced him to some musical device that didn’t require a cassette tape (after all, Ford had never seen that technology in this dimension, so he was thankful to have something else pique his curiosity) filled with songs Stan would have listened to. He had ignored it when he reorganised the photo albums and year books. He even ignored it when double checking the projector was still in working condition. It’s only now that he could sit down and be alone with his thoughts that the lie he told reared its ugly head. Ford couldn’t ignore or deny it any longer. He was a terrible brother, and telling Stan he had experienced their twinstinct was further proof of that fact.

Now that Ford thought about it, and now that he was going over an entire childhood with Stan, this wasn’t the first time he’d lied about the twinstinct either. Sure, he may have had inklings on where Stan was, but that was through knowing where Stan liked to go, not from the instinct that Stan had. Ford knew on logic, and Stan knew on…on…Ford didn’t even know! But he did know that since that day, Stan would brag or flaunt it about whenever the topic arose. 

In fact, he could recall one time when they were playing hide and seek. 

Ford had just found Stan, and it was Stan’s turn to count while Ford hid. But, when he’d finished counting, Stan didn’t go look for Ford right away. Instead, Stan was rubbing his temples and squinting and muttering every magical word he could think of, which was either ‘abracadabra’ or ‘hocus pocus’. Knowing he was trying to use his twinstinct at will, Ford came out and explained to Stan that it doesn’t work like that. Stan, completely missing the point, exclaimed “Well it’s not gonna work now! You ain’t hiding no more!” Ford couldn’t help but let a little smile twitch onto his face as he remembered Stan’s reaction, just like he did all those years ago, before saying “I am not hiding anymore because you need to know instinct happens naturally. You can’t force it.” Stan then shrugged with a ‘pfft’ noise, obviously not caring. But then he got excited, asking Ford “Well, did you use twinstinct to find me? Huh? Huh? Didja, didja, didja?” Stan had looked so excited to learn if Ford shared in their special twin connection, and at the time Ford didn’t want to disappoint him, so he lied and said “yes, I did”. While Stan cheered and marched off to the Stan O’War chanting   
“Twinstinct forever! Twinstinct forever!” Ford was left to reflect on his lie. But, not for long. Naïve child as he was, he thought one little white lie to make somebody he cared for happy couldn’t hurt, right?

Oh, how wrong he was.

Now, it was a lifetime later, and Ford had done it again. But this time, it wasn’t to his ten year old twin brother. This time, it was to an amnesiac who barely even knew who he was and why he looked like him. Stan never learned the truth of his lie all those years ago, but now that he was an expert in the art of the lie, Ford knew it was only a matter of time before he was found out. And it was only a matter of time before Stan knows how much of an awful brother-no, person- he was. All he wanted was a little more time to make Stan feel loved. No, that wasn’t all it was. Ford wanted more than that. He wanted to feel less like a failure. He wanted to be a brother. He wanted to be an uncle. He wanted to feel loved. He had gone for so long without that affection that he was practically starving for it. Was it selfish? Yes, it was. But Ford kept telling himself that this was being selfish for the right reasons. Stan gets his memories back. Ford can be a brother and uncle until he’d recovered enough to decide he wants Ford out of his life. The kids get to keep their Grunkle Stan. Everybody wins. But that didn’t mean that Ford wasn’t dreading it. Ford sighed and linked his hands together, resting his head on his knuckles.

“What am I supposed to do?”

Before he knew it, he heard the kid’s yells and Stan’s laughter in the gift shop. Ford jolted out of Stan’s chair made a break for it to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and grabbed an entire pack of Pitt from the back. He knew there were already two cans in there, but he didn’t want to look suspicious entering the TV room with nothing in his arms.

“Alright, so where do I plug this thing?”

“Over here, Grunkle Stan.”

“This bit?”

“No, that’s for the jack.”

“Silly Dippingsauce, it’s for the headphones!”

“That’s what I said.”

“No, you said it was for Jack!”

“Would you kids help me out here?”

“Oh, right. Sorry. You just gotta…there you go!”

“Success! We have charging!”

“Finally…” Ford let out a little affectionate chuckle at the light-hearted bickering. Dipper and Mabel were good siblings to one another. He was a fool to try and split them apart. He hoped they wouldn’t make the same mistakes he made.

“Hey, where’s Great Uncle Ford?”

“I ‘unno. In his nerd lab?”

“I’ll go get him. Heeeeeeey, Grunkle Ford!”

“Not so fast, pumpkin. You two need to get some sleep. And you’re so loud, he’s probably coming up right now.”

“I am?”

“Mabel, everyone at Greasy’s Diner can hear you from here.”

“Psh, no they can’t.”

“You know what I hear? Two kids who aren’t in bed.”

“Night, Grunkle Stan.”

Ford said nothing as he heard the twins chorus that line to Stan, followed by running feet going up the stairs and getting quieter and quieter until he couldn’t hear anything anymore. Taking that as a sign that the coast was clear, Ford adjusted his hold on the Pitt pack and went back into the TV room, making sure he was not behaving in any way suspicious. He came in just as Stan was making himself comfortable on his favourite chair.

“Good evening, Stanley.” Ford greeted, putting on a smile.

“Meh? Oh, hey Ford.” Stan greeted back. “I thought you were in your lab.”

“I was just getting some refreshments.” Ford showed Stan the six pack.

“I’ve got one.” Stan showed Ford the can he was holding in his hand.

“These are spare in case we’re at this for a long time.” Ford explained as Stan opened his current can.

“There’s a pack over there.” With his can-holding hand, Stan gestured to the six pack seated underneath the television.

“So there is.” Ford said stiffly. So much for not looking suspicious. Pretending he wasn’t embarrassed, Ford awkwardly idled to the television set and placed the additional drinks next to the other pack. That’s when Ford noticed the bright pink mp3 player plugged into the wall. “I didn’t take you as somebody who liked pink, Stanley.” Ford teased, waving the mp3 player left and right in Stan’s line of sight.

“It’s not mine, I swear! It’s Mabel’s! Look on the back! There’s a sticker there!” Ford turned it over. Instead of a sticker, he saw the white, sticky residue of what was meant to be a sticker. Some parts had clearly been picked off. Others would not budge. Like there were some patched of rainbow on one edge and some triangular shape near the top, like a horn or an ear.

“Oh.” Stan said, noticing the lack of sticker. “Guess she took it off.”

“Why would she do that?” Ford wondered, placing the mp3 player back where he found it.

“Beats me. I think it was a unicorn or sumthin’. Weird. I thought somebody like Mabel would love unicorns and other junk like that.”

“Yeah…Weird…” Ford agreed sadly. He knew exactly why that sticker was gone. Because he’d ruined Mabel’s love of unicorns, albeit unintentionally. Great. Something else for him to feel guilty about.

“I got a can for you here.” Stan held up another unopened can. “Catch!” Stan threw it over to Ford, who barely had enough time to straighten up and catch it. Ford held it at arm’s length and opened it, just in case it was shaken up enough to spray soda in his face. Thankfully, there was no explosion of pink carbonated liquid. Relieved, Ford took a sip of the can.

“So, d’you wanna tell me why you lied about twinstinct?” Stan asked abruptly. So abruptly, Ford gagged on his drink and he had to clamp a hand over his mouth to make sure the Pitt didn’t spray out all over the room. Ford looked at Stan, who showed no discernible signs that he was lying or angry. In fact, he seemed disappointed that Ford didn’t do a huge spit take like he hoped. How did Stan know he lied? He couldn’t have seen the signs on his face; they weren’t even looking at each other when he lied. Could this just be a little failed prank Stan pulled just to see Ford make a fool of himself? Does he still believe the lie? Taking a moment to swallow the soda, Ford decided to bite the bullet and find out which it was.

“What are you talking about, Stanley?” Ford asked, trying his best to look innocent, even though on the inside, he could feel his heart pick up in pace.

“Don’t play dumb, Stanford. I know you’ve never experienced a twinstinct.” Stan said frankly. Ford’s racing heart sank. So much for that.

“How did you know?” Ford asked slumping forward a little and a resigned tone in his voice.

“I told you, didn’t I? You’re terrible at lying.” Stan said with a smirk. But, that light smile did nothing to ease Ford’s nerves, as an almost panicked look appeared in his eyes as Ford all but slammed his Pitt on the dinosaur skull as he approached Stan.

“Stanley, I’m so sorry!” Ford apologised rapidly. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Whoa, whoa, calm down, Poindexter.” Stan placed his hands on Ford’s shoulders, which was enough to get Ford to stop talking, but it didn’t get rid of that scared look in his eyes. “I’m not mad at ya.”

“You’re not?” Ford said with an almost childlike hopefulness, yet laced with a little confusion.

“No.” Stan shook his head, taking his hands off Ford’s shoulders. “I’m just a little upset, is all. But!” Stan quickly interrupted Ford as soon as he saw him open his mouth, and Ford closed it with an audible snap. “I’m not upset you never had that twinstinct or whatever it is. I’m upset that you lied.” There was a pause, which Ford used to stare at Stan with open-mouthed shock. “Yeah, that’s exactly what my reaction was.”

“Uhhh…” Ford said stupidly, unable to comprehend, or even properly respond, to what Stan just said. But, Stan admitted to being just as dumbfounded at this revelation, so that softened the blow somewhat.

“Ford…” Stan started, and this was enough for Ford to blink himself out of his stupefied state. “Why did you lie?” Stan asked again in a gentler tone, all signs of bluntness and teasing gone. Ford looked away from Stan’s curious face, unable to bring himself to look at his twin.

“Because…I didn’t want to upset you.” Ford admitted the guilt evident on his face and his voice small.

“Well, you did that anyway.” Stan snarked, but judging by how Ford’s shoulders hunched even more, Stan realised that probably came out harsher than he would have liked. “There’s another reason, isn’t there? Come on, let’s hear it.” Ford, realising there was no more hiding from his perceptive brother, took a breath before continuing.

“And…” Ford said, but he found he couldn’t continue. This moment was all of his fears come true. Stan’s never going to want to see him again, he just knows it. But this was all too soon; it wasn’t supposed to be until the end of summer! Ford’s tongue was refusing to obey him, and his gut was tied up in knots and aching, like he had suddenly been struck with a stomach ache.

“And?” Stan made a ‘go on’ gesture at Ford, encouraging him to finish. Ford swallowed before forcing himself to keep talking.

“And because I was afraid.” Ford forced himself to say before his tongue turned to lead again. And out of the corner of his eye, he could swear he saw Stan’s expression soften. But, he ignored it, too caught up in his confession as his thoughts ran wild and threatened to spill out. “I was afraid of what you’d think of me. I was afraid you…” Ford felt his breath hitch and his eyes sting. Damn it, he was NOT going to cry! “You would hate me.” After he said this, Ford’s vision started to blur and he felt his eyes start to fill up with tears. Too late. His emotions that have been building up since Stan’s mind was wiped clean, along with his overall exhaustion,, were starting to catch up to him. Before Ford could stop himself, he was rambling and gesturing with no signs of stopping. Because Ford knew that if he didn’t stop, then he would finally be able to vent his feelings out into the open and not have to hide them anymore. At the same time, if he did stop, then Ford would end up breaking down in front of Stan.

“And I wouldn’t blame you if you did because I hate me too. I hate that I deserted you and ignored you when you needed me after all the times you’ve helped and defended me and I hate that I’ve treated you so terribly since I got back to this dimension and I hate that I’ve never been the brother you deserve or need. I know it’s too late for me to be your brother now after all these years and after all you’ve been through but you are far better than you believe and far better than I could ever be because I can’t even talk to you about something we’re supposed to share together and I’m far too horrible to-dah!”

And just like that, the faucet had been twisted off. With that one thwack behind Ford’s head, his emotions, his rambling; everything came to a standstill. Even Ford’s eyes had dried out of sheer surprise of what Stan just did. Ford looked at his brother, who had a deadpan ‘Are you kidding me?’ look.

“Ow! What did you do that for?!” Ford asked indignantly, rubbing the spot Stan hit him and looking very ticked that his emotional honesty was interrupted (though Ford couldn’t deny that he was partially grateful for having his breakdown averted).

“Y’know, for a genius you sure are an idiot.” Stan teased with a grin. “’sides, don’cha got a metal plate in there?”

“Well…yes, but it…rattles.” Ford said feebly, though the sentence turned into a mumble around halfway through.

“Alright, okay.” Stan readily accepted the excuse, clearly knowing that Ford wanted to save face. Letting out a weary sigh, Stan ventured over to the albums and picked up the tucked away senior yearbook. “Is that why you took this away?” Stan asked, showing the cover to Ford. And judging from the dread that came over Ford after seeing, Stan knew he’d hit a mark.

“A little…” Ford confessed. “But mostly-”

“Because it’s boring?” Stan interrupted, flicking through the pages until he found what he was looking for. “Yeah, it’s boring because I’m not in it.” Stan showed Ford a double spread of students. Ford was pictured along the second column on the left hand page, and the grey box that would have been Stan was on his right.

“Oh.” Was Ford’s response, as he couldn’t come up with anything better to say.

“Ford, I know why I’m not in here.”

“And that is?” Ford asked, hoping he could call a bluff.

“Because Dad kicked me out before I could graduate.” Stan answered. Ford said nothing, waiting to see what Stan wanted to say next. Stan closed the yearbook and placed it on the arm of his chair before rubbing the back of his head, suddenly very uncomfortable.

“Yeah, that er…That was one of the first things I remembered actually. It was when we finally got some alone time together that day. You had this look on your face, and I felt like I’d seen it before. Then it was like…wham!” Stan punched a fist on his palm for emphasis. “I didn’t say anything because you just looked so upset at the time and I didn’t want to make things any worse.” Stan let out a bitter laugh. “I seem to have a habit of that.”

“Stanley, no. You-” Ford started, but Stan held a hand up to stop him. Once again, Ford’s mouth closed.

“You don’t have to apologise or explain yourself, Sixer. You’ve done enough of that already. C’mon, sit down, you look uncomfortable up there.” Stan sat down in his yellow armchair and Ford sat next to him in his little plastic foldable chair. He linked his twelve fingers together so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “Look, it all happened years ago and it’s in the past, where it belongs. I’m over it already.” Then Stan made a so-so gesture. “Ehhh, kind of. We both had a role in what happened, but I don’t blame you for it. Not one bit. And anywho, Dad had a bag ready to go. If I hadn’t given him an excuse to use it then, he probably would have done it after we finished high school. I may have blamed you for a while, but not anymore. And I definitely don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” Ford asked hopefully.

“Of course not! I admit, I tried to, but I couldn’t. How could I possibly hate the one person who’s been by my side since the day we were born? And anyway, if I did hate you, do you really think I would’ve spent thirty years bringing you home to this dimension?” Stan said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“I guess not…” Ford answered sheepishly, feeling embarrassed about the obviousness of the whole thing. It made all of his previous anxiety from before seem so silly.

“Come on, bring it in.” Stan stood up again and opened his arms out for a hug, which Ford immediately accepted. They both stood there in that embrace silently for a few seconds, savouring this moment together.

“I understand why you kept that book from me.” Stan said, breaking the silence. “I understand and I appreciate it. But you don’t have to protect me from it. I’m okay, I promise. But if it makes you feel better, we can get to that bridge later. Together.”

“Thank you.” Ford said in response.

“And as for that twinstinct thing, don’t worry about it. Just because you haven’t had it doesn’t mean you never will. We’ve got our whole lives ahead of us; you’re bound to have it eventually.”

“I know but…that doesn’t mean I’m not a terrible person.”

“For the last time, Ford, I don’t hate you!” Stan exclaimed with a fond exasperation. “I love you too much to do that!” There was another silence as both Stan’s took a moment to register what Stan just said. They pulled away a little and looked at one another, not daring to let one another go for fear of making this moment less real. It had been a long time since either of them had said they loved one another. And now that it had been said again after all this time, neither one knew what to do next. Fortunately, Stan figured out what to do first.

“I love you, Stanford.” Stan said again, looking directly at Ford and making sure he knew that Stan meant every word. When it finally sank in, Stan smiled at the sight of Ford’s face brightening and his eyes lightening up.

“I…I love you, too, Stanley.” Ford said, feeling a little giddy with happiness. Stan took this opportunity to cup the back of Ford’s head and bring it forward until their forehead’s touched. An old childhood gesture whenever the twins wanted to show affection but didn’t want to get too touchy-feely about it.

“You’re not a bad brother.” Stan reassured with a quiet affirmation. “You’re my brother.”

“Thank you, Stanley.” Ford placed his own hand behind Stan’s neck. “Thank you for everything.”

“Well, it’s about time.” Stan remarked in a teasing tone.

“Pfft, shut up, knucklehead!” Ford knocked Stan’s fez hard enough for it to cover his eyes, and they both pulled away laughing so Stan could straighten his fez.

“Alright, how’s this? No albums, no yearbooks and no home movies tonight. Let’s just sit down and talk together. ‘Cos let’s face it, we could both use the practice.” Stan picked up the senior yearbook. “And we don’t talk about what happened after this until we’re ready.” Stan tossed it aside to the plethora of other albums and yearbooks and extended a hand to Ford. “Whaddya say? Deal?” It took Stan a few seconds to realise what he just did, and when he figured it out, Stan immediately took his hand away with an awkward chuckle. “Whoops, heheh. Too soon. Um…er…” Stan tried to think of an alternative. And then it hit him. Stan raised a hand up. “High six?”

“Y-Yes.” Ford agreed, ecstatic at this huge step forward in their relationship and the fact that Stan remembered something that no other twinstinct could compare too; something that was just for Stan and Ford. Ford clapped his hand onto Stan’s. “High six.”

**Author's Note:**

> https://artsymeeshee.tumblr.com/post/174247123083/im-so-happy-to-finally-release-the-comic-ive#notes
> 
> Thanks for reading. Have a nice day!
> 
> Follow Your Hearts


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